You are 4 months old little one!!!

This was on his actual four month birthday 3/23/12

Time really does fly when you are having fun!!! I CANNOT believe you are already four months old! I just finished making your 0-3 month photobook and I almost had a meltdown because it really is sad how fast you are growing. Everyone says it passes in a blink of the eye! It sure does. Every stage is more and more fun watching you learn and grow, but it does make me sad to see how tiny you were just a few months ago. You are such a sweet boy, and have become so "talkative" and smiley in the past few weeks. You grin with your ENTIRE body! If we go out of your line of vision and come back, you just smile ear to ear. Your mommy and daddy love when you smile at us. You pretty much smile at everyone, but you do give most people the once over very seriously before you bust out with your HUGE, gorgeous, gummy grin! I rememeber watching you sleep in those early days and whenever you started dreaming your little eyes would flutter and your lips would draw up into the sweetest little grin. We couldn't wait for you to give us a real smile. It makes our hearts skip a beat everytime you flash that smile.

I know everyone thinks there baby is the cutest baby alive, but your daddy and I know you are. At least to us (and all your extended family). You are just so animated. Your little eyebrows still arch all the time, and you just light up when you talk. It is like it takes everything in you to make those sweet sounds. You just coo and ahh all the time now. You really do seem to think you know what you are saying. You are most talkative in the AM right after you eat and between five and six. I know I say this everytime I do an update on you, but your mommy and daddy fall more and more in love with you every second. We look at you and can't believe you are ours. You are so perfectly made by God. I hope you always know how loved you are. I also hope you always keep your sweet spirit that is already so evident. It is a joy and a blessing to be your parents. We thank God every day for choosing us to be your mommy and daddy. If I never accomplish anything else in this life it won't matter because you are enough. You are everything.

So....enough with the crazy, mushy, mommy talk! Today you had your four month check bright and early! You scored an A+ as usual. You weighed in at 15.10 ounces and were 25.7 inches long. Your noggin was 43cm. You are in the 75th percentile in all areas. Daddy thinks you are a bit longer because you didn't want to stretch your little leg to get measured. You were too busy being a ham! The doctor said you are growing right on target and look PERFECT! Of course we already knew that! You do have a little rash going on in your chubby neck and chest from heat/drool/friction. The doctor suggested loading you up with Aquaphor and using hydrocortisone two times/day. That will hopefully help. You have such sensitive skin and it is really hard to get in your chunky neck. You luckily don't mind us digging in there to lube you up and wash you. You are so laid back that way. You will just let us do anything to you. Speaking of that, you were happy as a clam the entire appointment...then..WHAM.....stabbed in your thigh...TWICE! The first was such a shock you just stared wide eyed then WHAM again!!!! HOLY HANK!!!! You were like..."save me PLEASE!!!" It was pitiful! You calmed pretty easy and we dressed you and scidadled outa there! You were out like a light in two seconds flat in the car. Mommy gave you Tylenol right before the shots and twice more today. You may have felt a tad warm but don't seem bothered by them at all. You actually just woke up at 4:45 after napping almost three hours!!! You have become the super napper mommy knew you could be this past week! HOORRAAY!!! The doctor also suggested we start a little rice cereal so we will hopefully do that soon. We aren't in too big of a rush since you do have your ENTIRE life to eat food, and you are doing fine for now with just breastmilk. Food is just extra the first year anyhow. Mommy has to work pretty much every weekend in April, and of course, mommy and daddy want to feed you together for the first time. We will wait until we have a morning together to get the show on the road. We ordered a book and your highchair and a couple other feeding "accersories" off Amazon this week so we will be all set to go. We (mommy) are going to make your food instead of jar food so that should be interesting. Mommy is really becoming quite the crunchy little momma with breastfeeding, cloth diapers, making baby food, and buying all organic or "green" cleaning products (except the occasional bleach for the toilets and bathroom areas you don't "swim" in) Ha!

What are you up to these days CASH!!!???

• Well, you LOVE TV!! I know...bad, bad momma! I can't help it. You like your "shows" man! Actually, as I am typing this you are happy as a clam watching Dora and playing on your playmat. I am pretty sure Dora just said they were going to cocaine island too! I hope I am wrong. We only let you "watch" after you eat/play in the AM so we can get a cup of coffee and feed/let out the dogs and in the evening you like to play on your mat and watch for about ten-twenty minutes or so. We don't always just leave you playing alone on the mat though! We do hang out with you 95% of your waking hours. Can you tell I feel judged? Ha!
• Your fav shows are Baby Einstein, Dora, Bubbleguppies, Fanklin and Friends, and Team Umizumi (sp?) Actually, I think these are your dad's favorite shows (and Weeza likes them ALL)!
• You like to sit in your bumbo like a big boy and play.
• You put EVERYTHING in your mouth including your best buddy, Miller's arm. Anna sat him next to you and you went to town. He didn't seem to mind even though you chomp pretty hard when I let you get a hold of my finger. Poor Miller.
• You can even almost get your paci in your mouth. You get all cross eyed trying to master it. It is so funny. I will be super happy when you learn that trick.
• You think you can hold your bottle by yourself. You don't know that you need to hold it up high so you don't suck air though so we help you.
• You like to sit in our laps while we type on the computer (what you are doing now...see he doesn't just watch tv!) What did parents do without technology?
• You have started to notice your bulldog sisters the past few days. Mostly just Weeza because she is ALWAYS in your face! You look at her like WTH??? Ha! Hopefully you will become best buds!
• You still eat every three hours during the day starting at around 7-7:30 when you wake up on your own. You will sometimes cry out around 4 or 5 (very rarely). You just want your paci then it is right back to dreamland. You have started talking to your imaginary friends around 6:30, but don't get upset for a while. It is so nice to be woken up to sweet sounds rather than ear piercing "I AM DIEING OF STARVATION" noises!
• You haven't required too much "extra" feedings lately and that has been nice on mommy! I think it may be because when you go to Mrs. Ines's house she sometimes gives you an extra bottle. You don't mind it!
• You seem to really like Mrs. Ines and she likes you. She is so great. Every time we go to take/pick you up it is so calm at her house. I don't know how she keeps all you kiddos in line. She is a saint. We are so lucky to have her right in the neighborhood.
• You are super close to rolling over. You get those legs going and try to kick yourself over. Too bad you will probably just be mad when you figure out you are on your tummy. Ha! You were trying to roll off the table today at the doctor.
• You are still a pooping machine! It has become mostly just once or twice a day though. We usually only have to change your clothes once every few days too so that is nice. The blowouts aren't has frequent with the cloth that is for sure.
• We love cloth!!!
• You still LOVE your bathtime. We still bathe you in the big tub. You have a little mesh seat we use because you are a tad heavy to just hold in now. You like to sit up in the tub and "stand" (with a lot of assistance) on the side. Pretty soon you will be sitting in there without help
• You love to go on walks/jogs. Mommy is trying to become a runner and you are helping her by loving the stroller! The BOB is still mommy's most prized baby purchase! A MUST!
• You go night night after your bath and BIG bottle at 7 or 8 and sleep until 7 then nap at least once a day for a good stretch. It is usually for two or even three hours around 11 or sometimes 2 if we aren't home for the AM nap. You usually still catnap for about 45 minutes to an hour at 8:30 or 9 and sometimes in the evenings between 5 and 6. We realized you need to be home in your bed for a good nap once a day so you stay our happy, sweet boy. You will usually wake up after about thirty minutes to an hour and want your paci then go back to sleep for another hour or so. Such a good boy!
• You are wearing 6-9 month clothes. Such a big boy.
• You love to read! You will just sit in our lap and look at the book. We also like to let you hear your nursery rhyme book your Nana, Grandpa, and Aunts made you! We don't want you to forget what a Boston accent sounds like!
• Your hair is still a dark blonde, but seems to be lightening up even more. I think it will be the same color as your dads for sure. You do look just like him.
• You still love your swing as long as it is facing the TV. You could care less about the mirror on it anymore, and if I put it where you couldn't see the TV you would NOT LIKE IT! ADDICTED MUTCH!
• You try to sit up in your car seat and play with your little toy! We are in trouble when you learn how to crawl!
• You seem to love your mommy. When I am zipping around doing stuff and daddy has you; you just watch me like a hawk. I secretly LOVE this! I hope you will always love me this much.
• Speaking of loving me; sometimes you just don't want me to put you down for one second. It is so funny. If you can't see me you get so upset. Sometimes if you can hear me you are ok for a minute. So funny.

Lordy me!!! I think that is enough for today. I would say I will be better about updated, but we know that isn't going to happen anytime soon. Working full time, cooking, cleaning, running errands, crafting, (barely), and working out makes for one busy momma! No complaints here though! I LOVE IT! It is the BEST life! Now for pics of the most handsome man I know!

Holy HANK...that is a hairy human!

Funny little ones!

Action shot with the drool!

Smiling with his ENTIRE body!

Enough with the flash Mom!

Irish lovebug!



You light up our lives little boy!

Going Back Is Hard to Do

So, the time has come! The day I have dreaded most, and at times forgot that would ever happen. I must return to work! To say this makes me sad is an understatement. I have been extremely blessed with what will be almost 15 weeks of time with my precious boy, but somehow that is still not enough. I am also extremely blessed in the fact that I don't have to return to a 9-5 5 days a week, but somehow that is still not enough. Finally, I am also blessed to have found what I believe will be a great place for him to be cared for right in our neighborhood, but somehow still....NOT ENOUGH! I want to be with him every second of every day. I want to be the one to feed him, play with him, teach him, and watch him grow EVERY single day. For almost four months I have spent every moment of his waking life (except for 1-3 hours every now and then) with him, caring for him, and loving him. That is where I want to be. I want to be the one ALL THE TIME! My heart aches that what I want can not be. I need to return to work. I need to make my "own" money. I need to be around others, and do something other than care for him. In the beginining staying at home felt VERY lonely. We have been so blessed to have had family here with us for his birth and all the holidays, and we traveled to see the rest of our family. When all the family first left, and the holidays were over, I was lonely and sad and bored even. This was the first time since I have started working that I have not worked for more than two weeks at a time. But as time has gone on, Cash and I have gotten into a groove. We stay pretty busy. I get to see my friends when I want to see them. I can make appointments, etc. without having to think about when I will sleep. I take him to the gym with me. I take him to the grocery with me. We play, we take walks, we walk around Target and pretend like we can afford to buy things. We get to go to church as a family every weekend because I don't have to worry about work. We skype with Nana, we take no less than 100,000 pictures and videos a day, and send them to family. We have a good time and I don't want it to end. But, alas all good things must come to an end! Lucky for both of us, me going back to work will not be too much of a change. I will be working most Sunday and Thursday nights and weekends every now and then. Frank will be here on those weekends, and that time with his son will be wonderful for both baby and daddy. Mommy will be sleeping instead of hovering over, and Frank will find his own groove with Cash. They will have fun...just the boys. On Mondays and Fridays I will sleep while Cash goes to Mrs. Ines's house to play and learn with the other kiddos. He will be just down the street, and I will be fine.

I will keep telling myself that I will be fine until I really am fine......

I will cherish these first almost four months of my baby boy's life, and the time where I was the one who cared for him every day. We will adjust and be just fine. If I had it my way he would stay 4 months old forever, and I would make what I make at work every week without working. That would be the life. I know I sound like I am probably complaining. It's not like I have to work all day every day. I realize that, and am so thankful I decided to become a nurse so that I can work full time and still be home the majority of the time. I might be a little sleep deprived, but that's ok. I can do it. And after I get a few checks in the bank, Cash and I can mosey around Target AND actually buy some things. Ha!

So if anyone reads this silly blog; can you send up a little prayer for mommy on Sunday at 6:00pm? I will be heading to work for the first time. Cash will only be awake for two more hours before he goes down for night, but when I come home in the AM he will be one day older, and already have had a bottle instead of me feeding him his first meal of the day. I know it is silly, but that makes me sad. I know that when I walk in the door and see his sweet gummy grin everything will be just fine. We will be fine.

So, for now I am going to cherish my last few days as a pretend SAHM, and remember how lucky I am to have had these past four months to learn how to be a mommy. They have been the BEST months.

I love you sweet boy, and will always be thinking of you even when we are apart.